there’s a new season in the fields of my heart.
i’m so excited to be living right now. I love the ways He’s changing and speaking to my heart in this season.
“Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future.” – Proverbs 31
i want to learn the beauty and meaning of this in whole… but I am rapidly falling in love with the future He’s calling me to.
He is preparing my heart for kingdom work. It bowls me over. Inside and out, upside down, side to side I am confronted by just how GOOD He really is. It’s undeniable. He’s undeniable.
outreach…ahhhhh. crazy.
hey there lovely people 🙂
so i’ve just finally added a “donate” button to my blog after trying to master it for ages.. and finally being helped out by a fellow brit. it’s just to the right of my blog posts- if you click on the donate button it will take you to another website where you can donate…. if you so wish!! i in no way whatsoever want to make this a focus, but at the same time it IS a need I have right now and I’m really stepping out in faith that He will provide for the next part of this dts. As of yet, they havent got a full estimate for the cost of my 3 month outreach, but they’ve asked us to pay a deposit of $2,500 on thursday. I would love it if you could pray about this; that I would see the money come in and have complete trust in His provision. Also, if you know of anyone at all you would be willing to contribute, i would be so so thankful if you could pass my blog link over to them.
Also, just underneath the donate button on the right is an amazon.co.uk sign- if you click on that, you will be taken to the amazon uk site- BUT for every purchase you make from amazon uk through clicking on that link, I will get 5% of the amount you spend. it seems so little, but as they always say, “every little adds up”… so feel free to pass that link on to others too!
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Okay. enough about all of that.
Last night I had a great evening… had a games evening with some of my class mates (videos to come) and then later, we walked down to the ocean where we sat on the rocks and shared some mud pie.. some incredible kona coffee icecream cookie chocolate delicious goodness. mmm.
today we had our first lecture for this week- being taught by a couple called Andrew and Faith Dutton on “freedom in christ”.. im so excited to really get into this week. i think its gonna be a good one. later tonight we have another photography class, but this time we’ll be learning how to FILM… so thats gonna be pretty cool. im excited to learn more about that and pick up a few ideas, i have a film recording function on my camera but i have NO idea to actually use it well. it’ll be good to get a new assignment!
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okay. so thats all for now. i’ll post again soon! have a great day 🙂
a heart for justice.
Just read these. they’re slightly unbelieveable.. but probably an underestimation of the actual reality of this issue.
A woman or Child is raped or killed on average every six seconds in Angeles City, Philippines.
Angeles City (A.C.), north of the Philippines capital Manila, is one of the largest sex tourist destinations in the world.
Angeles City is also the Philippine’s second largest destination point (after Manila) for internal trafficking, & is one of the main recruitment points used by trafficking networks.
An estimated 150,000 girls work in Angeles City, Philippines as prostitutes – of that about 30,000 are girls as young as six years of age. Despite the fact that prostitution is illegal in Angeles not one person has been convicted of this crime.
The prostitution trade is controlled by foreign gangs who rake in millions while the girls suffer on a bowl of rice a day. Young girls are forced to work up to twenty hours a day and are expected to sevice up to 100 customers a week. Most of the gangs that run the prostitution trade are foreigners. They pay off corrupt police, military and city hall officials. The girls are locked away to sleep watched over by armed security gaurds who carry batons, electric prods and shotguns.
The buildings are surrounded by razor wire as used in prisons. The average life expectancy of a bar girl is 25 The gangs control prostitution, drugs, extortion, gun running, paedophile movies and a host of other criminal activities. Anyone who speaks out is quickly disposed of by the gangs.
In the last twenty years in Angeles City, Philippines more than 300,000 women and children have died in the prostitution death camps of Angeles.
Despite the atrocities that are happening in Angeles there is very little said in the outside world. Their operations include prostitution, paedopillia, money laundering, gun running, kidnap, snuff movies, extortion, drugs and a range of other criminal activities.
These are the first of many revealing and horrific insights i am finding as i research more and more about the philippines. If you want to read some more, go to these links:
http://www.petitiononline.com/44441212/petition.html
http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/asiapcf/02/19/angeles.philippines/index.html
some stories on here are NOT easy to read, and although I will not water down this subject, I also do not want to force stories in your face which you’d otherwise rather not read. I really would encourage you to read further though, just to get a glimpse of the personal devastation this industry is building.
I’ve been researching this area in the Philippines as there’s a possibility that we could be spending 4 or so weeks there working with a prostitute rescue shelter, meeting the women, hearing their stories and then trying to somehow capture all of that on page through our writing and our photographs. My heart is so in this. I’ll keep you up to date with how that goes and whether it becomes definite or not.
so today as i was researching the philippines, and especially the sex trade and prostitution circles, i was shocked at what i found. shocked at how freely available this information was online and how uncensored and indiscreet so much of it is.
i stumbled across some man’s blog who is retired and living in thailand where, as he explains, “Like all others in my situation – single, financially ok, retired and living here, I love and enjoy carousing with the lovely Thai ladies.” He then goes on to describe WHY he is so partial towards visiting Angeles City, Philippines every 3 months, for a “change of scenery”…
“Although the town in the fun area is basically a slumlike ambience,
the traffic is minimal and all the action is within easy walking distance
if you stay at a centrally located hotel on or near Fields Avenue.
The women, Filipina ladies to me, in general are more fun than the current crop of Thai ladies.
(These are all relating to general averages, with obvious exceptions to every rule).
They seem to still have the childlike sense of fun that I find diminishing rapidly in the Thai bar girls.
In a physical sense, most have good sized breasts that are not collapsed like a majority of young Thai girls.
I find them on average more shapely,
although Thai girls are usually prettier than the AC girls over all.
As mentioned they seem to be much more flirtatious and joking at present,
a real sense of childlike fun.”
I have no words for that. That these women’s worth and value and lives have been reduced to so little, that they are shown anything BUT respect, love and care, that they are subjectified simply to a piece of meat to satisfy one man’s lust for one night of enterntainment for him. Â The girls in the picture above (his photo) are all vacantly smiling.. but after reading into the sex trade and abuse which happens behind these one night stands, you have to look into their faces and wonder what torture, abuse, and degrading treatment has been used to submit these girls into
smiling out of fear.
it breaks my heart. its an overly used conception, but somehow it grounds what can often just been seen as distant facts and figures..
imagine if one of these girls was your sister.
your best friend.
your daughter.
your wife.
your girlfriend.
the girl who wanted to have a family.
the girl who wanted to get an education to be educated enough to help others.
would you want her to be one of the 2.5 million abused and dehumanised victims of this? would you want her to blur into the background of a mass of statistics? would you want her night after night to be beaten and raped, passed around a cycle of men hungry only for 30 sexually pleasing minutes with an insignificant woman?
another snippet from a guy who went in undercover to the bars in angeles:
“flocks of young girls wearing next to nothing and dancing on the stage for white men like myself to ogle at. Paradoxically, their faces were most revealing. Some of them looked acutely embarrassed, their eyes focused in the middle distance while their bodies did the minimum-sway dance. Some of them grab a friend and giggled a lot as they tried their sexy moves. If i caught any of their eyes, they would either giggle and look away or just look away.“
what continues to terrify me about the first blog I found, and so much of the other research i’ve been doing, is just how crazily available it is. this blog came up on page 3 of google images. PAGE 3. it wasn’t even difficult to find. it terrifies me that the social worth of these woman and the growing openess about it all is so unashamedly proclaimed.. not in regret, but to BOAST about the cheapest prices they’ve found for the best sex. The sex trade has finally become so common that the people who pay into it are not even discreet or ashamed about this issue anymore.. but that its actually just becoming some sick competition. I have no words to express how unbelievable that is.
The more i read into this issue, the more my heart breaks and feels overwhelmed at the mass of this problem.. i had no idea of the mass devastation, suffering and abuse which is right in front of our faces. It’s so easy to want to back away and feel as though there is no way that we, as individuals, could ever possibly begin to change this. But God is gathering a people who will say yes to Him, who will go where people have said No before, and will carry words and actions of hope, life and love to the most oppressed and enslaved people. It is my only comfort that I know a God who is bigger than all of this, even when it seems indescribably huge.
Pray that God would speak courage and a passion for justice and His people into my heart! I simply cannot begin to do anything about this by myself, or even have the confidence to share about it with people.. but finally im understanding what this verse means:
“Jesus looked hard at them and said,
“No chance at all if you think you can pull it off yourself.
Every chance in the world if you trust God to do it.”
Ako ng pagpunta sa Pilipinas!
magandang araw mga tao kaibig-ibig
…. good day lovely people!!
So at last I finally have a moment to sit and update this thing. This last week has been a crazy busy one… crazy busy in the routine and schedule, and crazy busy with the stuff God has been doing in my heart. ohhh it’s been such a good week. a really really good week. As I explained previously, this last week we had “corporate Dts lectures”- so we had this one guy visiting from New Zealand speaking to us every day, and another New Zealander, Cindy, leading worship.. it was incredible. Testing, trying and definitely SHAKING for a lot of people, but it broke down walls and fears and preconceptions in so many people’s hearts and God just moved so powerfully. It’s been a bit of a roller coaster week! But finally it feels like my heart is beginning to grasp
how wide
and long
and high
and deep is the love of Christ.
for ME.
and it’s such a beautiful, heart gripping, overwhelming, unbelieveable thing. To know what it is to not stand bored in a room trying to pray, but to simply just want to spend hours soaking in the presence of God because it’s just. so . good. Â It’s so easy to distance God’s love to a general “God’s love for the world” and “other people”, but when it comes to myself I have so often just wanted to skip over that part, unwilling to believe that a God so good could possibly still manage to love me. Or that if was only me, would He have still cared enough to die for me, to save me? Self doubt and fear of never being good enough crushes your ability to allow God to just whisper His true affection for you into your heart, deafens your ears to His words of compassion and delight and hardens your heart to a soft touch which just melts away every insecurity. Only when I realise that nothing in this world could possibly ever satisfy what and who I was made for, that I was made for love; to be loved, to love Him and to be love- and that it is only in walking with Him that I can ever last a day standing, that I ask that His goodness is bigger than my insecurities.. and then I see Him.
And I see no disappointment, no hatred, no anger or resentment, no back of the hand.. but instead arms open wide, loving compassion, grace, warmth, acceptance, purpose, delight, consuming passion. And I realise all along He was never asking me to be perfect or good enough.. He was just asking me to hand over my insecurities to Him and walk in the freedom He loves us to radiate.
I’ve been challenged to let Him just lead me.. to trust Him with everything, to give up everything else i found strength and comfort in and to just let Him do what only He can do. It’s been hard!! Hard realising that I didn’t allow Him to be all that i thought i had, hard letting go of security blankets i still held on to unwillingly and hard realising my heart is all to often split in attention and love for Him and other things. I’m only just grasping how much of a jealous God He really is.. how He’s a good God who is gentle and compassionate.. but also is a jealous God desperate for all of my heart, all my attention and need, not just parts of it. I’m learning what it is to really be challenged to CHOOSE.. that He’s brought me past a point of pursuing me, to a point where He’s calling me again to choose between pursuing my relationship with Him, or my relationship with the temporary things I enjoy in the world. But there is such beautiful freedom in giving up your life to Him..
only to find that you then have more life than you ever dreamt.
I am just falling in love. Slightly embarassingly, admittedly I was hoping to maybe fall in love on this Dts.. and I’m finding i’m just falling for the person I was always made to fall for. He’s not what I expected. He’s a million times better. My heart is captivated by Jesus. I want more of this!
Above are a few photos from our outreach icecream party- the big group of people is our class..53 of us!!
At the beginning of this week, we had a roomies meal out- we went and got Sushi!! my first ever sushi.. boy what an experience. I feel like that wont happen again.. hopefully. I knew something in my heart didnt agree with RAW fish. gross. but the evening was definitely redeemed by a visit to a place called ‘Kona wave’… a FROZEN YOGHURT place!!! it was so delicious. another first for me, and oh my, do i LOVE frozen yoghurt. so many different flavours, toppings.. and cheap. it was super good. I tried chocolate, cookies and cream and peanut butter.. and mmm. good good times. Below are a few pictures from our evening; we also recorded some videos which hopefully i’ll be able to show you at some point.
Last night we had a DODGEBALL tournament.. crazy!!! I think it’s a bit of a tradition here, and people get so into it. crazy costumes, crazy game, crazy people.. but it was so much fun. I wasn’t on a team, but dressed up in sporting plaid outfits with my friend alyssa to support one of the photogenX teams, “the lumberjacks” or something. it was such a good evening! every evening i spend with these people, the more i love them.
and finally, its the weekend. im hoping for a quiet one!! this next week is going to be another busy one.. its my friend alyssa’s 21st birthday on friday, so im looking forward to making that a GREAT day for her.. and for new revelations and teaching and just good memories from another week at the ywam base, kona.
At the end of next week, some of my outreach fees are due. I’m definitely learning what it is to be a good steward of money and learning to just trust Him that He will provide for whatever He leads me to do… including my outreach. Im hopefully going to be putting a donate via paypal button on this site very soon; if you, or know of anyone who feels led to support someone in missions, would like to donate ANYthing at all.. thank you so much. i think i need about $2000 by next friday. Also, lots of my other class mates are trying to raise their funds for next week too.. so if you feel led to support any of them at all instead, please get in contact! we’re all trusting in Him to be faithful in provision over the next week. Above all, PRAYER would be massively appreciated; prayer for provision, and prayer for unity as we grow together more as a class, and individually as outreach teams.. prayer for an increase of faith, trust and a passion for justice as we learn more about the injustices we will be meeting on our outreach and an explosion of our understanding of who God is.. that we would continually speak and walk in confidence that He IS greater than all these things, even the most broken and corrupt situations you can imagine. prayer is powerful, so please pray for us!
well lovely people, i must head off. its a saturday and after a long week without the beach, i feel it would be inconsiderate to not grace it with some welsh presence again. i also have a nice chunk of a book i need to read by next weekend, so we need to spend a lot of time together today 😉
hope you’re all well and that He is doing incredible things in your hearts and lives. Reveal Him boldly to the people in your circle by living and loving boldly. He is just too incredible for these people to miss out on.
love to you all!
outreach… r;wglerkgnr;ogniwpoigr !
so this evening we had a big outreach party with icecream, coffee, music and dancing.. and finally, at last, found out our outreach locations and teams- there are four teams;
one for mexico-central america
one for haiti- domincan republic
one for india
and MY TEAM- the PHILIPPINES!!!!!
i wanna write more but i need sleeeeep now tonight after i come down off a significant SUGAR high… but i’ll try and explain some more tomorrow and hopefully have some pictures from this evening to show you.
my amazing sweet friend sadie has been collecting various video clips over the last few weeks, and below is a link to a short movie she’s compiled from them all; included is our first ever cockroach hunt, and my first every work out.. in a dress. proud moments.
hope everyone’s well! : )
a home for the heart.
meeting with God’s heart is like finally feeling at home.
captivated.
warmth.
overwhelmed.
secure.
radical.
beautiful.
heart of jesus.
ohhh happy days.
so. whats new?!
as of yet, i can’t tell you my outreach location.. it’s been narrowed down to 2 places, the philippines and india, out of 4 choices we had; india, the philippines, mexico-central america and haiti-dominican republic. tomorrow evening we will find out for sure who goes where, and what the teams are. i’m so excited for that!!
my weekend was good… relaxing, and so nice not rushing around to places and having deadlines and schedules. friday evening last minute i went up to the highest mountain in hawaii, “mauna kea” with a group of about 15 others i think… it was SUCH a good evening, so many great memories and so much laughter… and the views were beautiful. Its so high up that you’re above the clouds, so you just see these mountain peaks breaking through the clouds and then this beautiful starry sky… its so beautiful.Â
saturday was quieter, but was honestly one of the best days I’ve had since i’ve been here.. breakfast then down to kona town to explore the weekly farmers market they have there, which is just filled with stores with fresh fruit, local crafts, tourist junk, musical instruments.. so many different things but its just fun to walk around with, especially with a camera and crazy hawaiian locals everywhere! This week one of my photo assignments was to get a portraiture shot of a stranger, so we spent some of saturday morning walking up to random people just asking for their photograph.. at first terrifying, by the end i think people just saw me coming at them with an eager expression and a camera in my hand and learnt to run. i loved it though. i met some great people through it too, and learnt how useful a tool photography can be in building relationships with people. .. i’m excited to see more of that happening.
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sunday was another good day, we had PASTRIES for breakfast!! this may sound unexciting and weird to blog about.. but honestly, as GOOD as the breakfast is here.. day after day, when you see an unexpected pastry the size of your face, your heart really does skip a beat.. or mine at least. so that just made the day good from second one. we had tuna filling for our sandwiches too, which may seem like another strange thing to include, BUT only the night before i’d been thinking how one day i’d buy a tin of tuna to take with me on the weekend so i could have a tuna sandwich instead of the strange fillings they have here.. interesting… and then i go to make a sandwich and there’s TUNA! it made me so pleased. there was gravy in our dinner today as well… if you know me.. gravy means 10+ bonus points. i love that God still cares about my little food delights, even now.
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sunday was spent on the beach, watching some crazy waves.. and then another trip to the farmers market as they sell fruit cheap on sundays, and managed to scrounge 3 mangoes for a dollar.. mmmmmm. they’re the best mangoes i’ve ever tasted. 
i had such a good weekend getting to know people better this weekend… finally feel like this place is becoming more of a home and having such beautiful friends around me makes being away from home and family easier. i just love the people here. i love my room mates. 
i love my class.
i love the potential people who could be on my outreach team. i love the germans we have in our team. i love mau mau, the first chinese student ofphotogenX. just so many amazing people who I am only just beginning to get to know.. but loving so much.
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this week we’re having a corporate dts week- so all dts’ coming together for lectures every morning. this morning was a bit crazy, but challenging and heart provoking in a really good way… our speaker was spending a lot of time talking about this week being a time of God shaking what can be shaken to leave unshakeable people ready to serve in a shaking, broken world. i’m so excited for it and to see what comes out of it… to try and remain with an open heart.
This guy also spoke a lot about learning to follow our spirits more than our souls; souls being emotions, feelings, thoughts, which as a western culture we have been taught to value and prioritise above our spirits.. i SO know that I do this and that often its so hard to discern between my emotions and things He’s actually speaking to my heart, so I’m so excited to wade deep into this week and see what happens.
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I’m ready to be shaken.. even if it IS uncomfortable. I don’t want to live the rest of my life, or even another year being an apathetic, stagnant believer who always asks for refining but runs the moment He begins. I want to have a heart which is just ready and waiting.. giving Him an all access area to my heart and my life and situations, not filtering what He can be involved in and what He can’t. I’m just seriously standing on the edge of an ocean, realising that everything that will satisfy the longing in my heart is in Him.. that I can jump straight into this ocean and never run out of deeper relationship, fresh discoveries, continuous grace and mercy.. Â i don’t want to be an ocean edge paddler flittering between Him and the world any longer. You can only take to others what you know and have experienced.. and right now, my experiences of the depth and richness of His character and relationship with Him are so shallow.. I don’t want to remain stuck in this position.
God just meet me this week and shake my heart up in an irreversible, unforgettable way.
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new beginnings
so today is april 23rd 2010. It absolutely blows my mind away to think about the distance He has brought me over the last year..both in geography and spiritually, as a person. This time last year I was travelling up to a small village called Oxenhope, without a clue what to expect or what I was getting myself in for.. only knowing that I was desperate for change and desperate to discover a God who was powerful enough and cared enough to rescue me. I just hated life. Today, things just couldn’t be any more different. I just LOVE life. I love Jesus and knowing a God who saves and restores in the most beautiful, sensitive ways.. I love that He has led me to a place where my heart for Him is colliding with my passion for creativity and injustice… I love the new freedom’s i discover in Him all the time.. I LOVE FOOD!!!.. and I love being able to sit here, a year later exactly knowing that my life has been irreversibly changed by the only one who could do it.. not only restoring what I’d lost and healing the brokeness and sickness, but also filling my life with just so so much more. I can’t believe this is my life. That i get to be here.
I just love His timing. I never thought this time last year that only a year later, i would be a radically different, alive person who on this day would be choosing an Outreach location to go and serve and speak hope, life and restoration into other hope-drained situations and lives. A year to this date! HA! That just makes me laugh. God you are just so good.. and boy do you have  a sense of humour with things sometimes.
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so I recently just finished reading our first book for class, “Is that really you, God?” by the founder of ywam, Loren Cunningham. It’s kinda crazy reading the history of this entire place, and how it just started as one person’s vision and dream and now is this huge organisation which is in over 150 countries with a staff of over 16,000… thats just crazy, right?! For my work duty here I’m on the ywam 50th events planning team.. so its ywams 50th year as an organisation so they’re having a huge celebration all year long to celebrate everything that God has done through ywam in the different nations over the last 50 years and how faithful God has been. when i first was put on the events team i was in all truth, horrified because, as anyone who knows me, i am NOT an organisational kinda person… at all… but having started to get more into it and learn more about it, its pretty amazing stuff. Its been cool getting to know all about the 50th ywam celebration stuff at the same time as reading the book.. putting a history to something I’ve only just joined.
Ywam PhotogenX seems to be such a crazy God-send for so many people in my class who were horribly torn between pursuing their creativity or pursuing their relationship with God and their call to missions or a heart for fighting the injustice in the world. I don’t know if anyone thought it possible that all of these things could be combined together in a successful way… but PhotogenX just combines them all and is paving such an incredible mark in history, challenging and changing the way people allow the injustice in this world and confronting such callouse hearts with a transforming love… it just blows my mind. And to think that I am now part of that.. blessed to not have to choose between my passion and my creator. It’s crazy. And to think that if ywam had never been founded, this school would never have existed as it does right now. Seeing the tiny threads that God has just woven into this amazing patchwork is just so. freaking. cool.
So .. i’m excited to be here. I’m excited to be part of an organisation that has a revolutionary love at the heart of it, that pursues His justice in such a broken world with a craft which I am learning to love and understand more and more. What did i learn from this book? (yes, this is an indirect book report..)
… That God is looking for hearts that say “yes”, and when you answer that, He doesn’t for a moment hesitate to grab your open hand and run with it, leading your path into bigger and bigger dreams turned reality seeing His Kingdom come here.. wow. That a person can never be too young, too inexperienced, too unlikely or too different to be used by Him.. that He doesn’t look at the credentials and track record of a person, but instead looks forward to their future and what He CAN use them in and for. That I may be an unlikely, sometimes unconfident and socially awkward person (!)… but that doesn’t seem to bother Him.. He only embraces my willing heart. I love that.
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So i’ve really got to go.. class starts in 8 minutes, and I still need to climb a short hill of death to get there. I’ll be blogging later to let you know about my outreach location…..woaaaah.
God you are just so so so so SO good. Thank you for seeing me beyond my mess. Thank you for doing more than I ever asked you to do in my life. You amaze me.
aloha…ohana
well it’s taken me a pretty flipping long time to get around to doing this blog… tomorrow I will have been here for 2 weeks already! that seems so ridiculous. i feel like the time here so far has just flown by without me even realising it. and its been SO good so far.
the routine is busy.. and intense. the teaching is awesome. The family I’m building here is beautiful, and day after day im learning more to trust and love the people I have around me right now. And God is changing my heart.. changing it in huge ways already. In essence, i like it a LOT here. There is something so good every evening going to bed with an excitement to wake up for the next day.. even when it has to be at 6 am.
So this is going to be a short post.. hopefully the first of many. Below are a few pictures of life here.. my roomies- 2 sweet girls from my class- Sadie and Emily, and then 3 Koreans who are all on a “GO ASIA dts”; introducing Mi-son, Bo-mi and Judi.
Living in a room with roomates who speak practically no english is interesting… but I’m loving it!
There’s something so refreshing about being    around new cultures and communities and really investing time and effort (boy!) into getting to know people.
I can’t wait to see the journey all of my roomates are taken on.
And my korean vocabulary is ever so slowly building..
thank GOODNESS that they are so gracious every time i say “hi, i love you” over and over again, always in the wrong way. They are beautiful people!  We’ve already once had a cockroach encounter in our room.. he’s called charlie, and he’s not welcome. at all. We are yet to wake up to geckos  onour pillows though.
We have some amazing leaders also; some of the best married couples I’ve ever met- Paul and Susi Childers, and Christian and Sharee Fox. They all have such a passion for photogenX and for seeing His Kingdom of justice dawn. I love listening to them teach! The other staff are all super good aswell… people who work with the Sex and Money team, a crazy and fantastic french lady called cyrielle, amazing photographers, passionate believers.. I’m just so excited to be here, in this time, with these people. Our team shares one big thing in common.. a heart for justice. It’s beautiful being around these people and hearing their hearts and experiences and dreams to see a world captivated by His grace and freedom.
So tomorrow is friday.. friday 23rd april 2010. A year ago tomorrow I arrived at the doors of Mercy ministries, a very different and totally broken person. Tomorrow we find out and choose our outreach locations. A year exactly and God has showered such grace and goodness on me that I am able to be the person going OUT to help, not the person seeking it. I am terrified, crazily excited and so fired up for this, to seek His heart and where He wants me to be. It’s crazy to me that He would include me in such a priveleged and compassionate team… that He would trust me enough to trust my words and actions to reflect Him enough to these nations. but you know what? That’s just how good the God is we serve. That He chooses the team B players, the rejects, the imperfect and the dregs of this world to be the people He rejoices over and sends out with His own message of love.
It’s crazy. It’s crazy love.
and I love. it.
Sarah Med's ywam hawaiian rambling overcomplicated Blog 
